Changing Direction

Prior to May 2008, Penny Defino was a timid, healthy, single woman with a career as a medical assistant. The oldest of two, her interests were sailing and hiking. At this time in her life, she was not interested in dance. A friend at work tricked her into thinking she was going Christmas shopping. Instead, they took a detour to a dance studio. She was still reluctant to dance.

In May of 2008, her life changed. She was diagnosed with Stage I Breast Cancer.  Her energy was put into saving her own life with surgery, radiation, and medication. After her last radiation treatment, she had to stop dwelling on her situation. She had to do something that would take her outside of herself. Dance was the answer.  In her mid-50’s she enrolled in a 6-week dance course. Dance was the medicine she needed.  “I can’t think of anything else when I dance,” Penny said.   Dance is a natural painkiller.  It is good for the brain, muscles, lungs, and heart, and it uplifts one’s emotional spirit.  

In December 2008, her life changed direction again.  At a dance workshop, she met John. He had been dancing for one and a half years. He had always wanted to learn how to dance and could not find the right place until he danced at the local independent studio in New Bern, North Carolina, owned by Joyce Price. Joyce was his first instructor and later became one of Penny and John’s students. John, the oldest of six, was a former IBM research engineer and partner in a Silicon Valley company. His hobbies were mostly based on electronics and computer control. He loves precision and technique. “You really get to know about a person when you dance together,” Penny said.” They each have different cultural backgrounds. Penny is Japanese and John is Italian. “We both love to learn. We often tell our students that dancing is an important thing for them.  For us, it was the thing,” John said.

In less than one year, they started competing together and in 2009 were married.  “Penny is less timid since we started dancing together. Her self-confidence has blossomed,” said John.  Looking for dance floors to practice on in 2010, they answered an ad that said, “If you teach, we will let you practice for free.”  They started teaching and training beginners for USA Dance competitions.

John and Penny won the Volunteer of the Year award in 2014 from USA Dance Chapter 6046, Greenville, North Carolina, and were active volunteers at the 2018 Nationals.

Competing for ten years, they placed first at the 2015 USA Dance National Championships in the American Smooth Pre-Championship events. 

They moved to Fort Myers, Florida, in 2019 to be closer to John’s father and to take advantage of traveling on various cruises.  Joining the Southwest Florida Chapter 6049, Amy Wymer, President at the time, asked them if they could help teach group classes.  The temporary request to help with the classes turned into a permanent one.

Their last competition was in 2019.  John had a knee replacement, and COVID arrived.  During this time, they were providing free interactive Zoom classes through the Southwest Florida Chapter. 

In 2022, on the day of a competition, the direction of the wind from Hurricane Ian made landfall. The winds, storm surge, and torrential rains from the Category 4 Hurricane caused heavy flooding and destroyed many Florida homes.  Unfortunately, living by water, John and Penny had 37 l/2 inches of water in their home that took almost everything. Fortunately, with help from their dance friends, they were able to rebuild and refurbish their home over many months. Fortuitously, when evacuating, they took Penny’s gowns.

Adjusting their sails in another direction, they continued to keep dancing as their destination.   Their focus from competing went strictly to performing showcases, teaching, and competitive preparation. “You are never too old or weak to begin a new adventure,” said Penny.

They became advisors to the Southwest Chapter 6049 board and taught weekly classes for the chapter at Rhythm In Motion in Cape Coral. See https://southwestfloridausadance.org for the weekly group classes.

To bring new students to USA Dance, Penny and John had to perform outside the chapter.  The Chapter started promoting a free lesson to USA Dance members who brought a new person to dance. They performed twice a month with a 20-piece orchestra called Brass Musical Elements, a free venue. (Go to https://www.brassmusicelements.com to check their various locations and events.)  They also attended many social dances, such as the German American Dinner Club in Cape Coral. (Go to https://gasc-capecoral.com.)  People loved watching them dance.  “How can I learn to do that?” was the comment from many.  They recruited young and old, but mostly students in their 60s and above.

Using YouTube to record some student routines became quite popular.  One impromptu dance from the 60’s was produced in black and white. Google “The Stroll” at the SW Florida USA Dance on June 4, 2023. It was posted two years ago and has already achieved over 79K views.

They went on their first USA dance cruise in 2010 and have cruised often since then.  “On one occasion, a man paid the band to play a Tango so he could see us dance. We would be stopped by people who had seen us dance on previous cruises, thinking that we were part of the staff,” laughed John.

Teaching others how to dance is giving medicine to others. The following comments are from some of John and Penny’s students:

• By Laurett Ellsworth Arenz, Ph.D. – When we met John and Penny at an event, my husband, David, and I were instantly captivated by the way they floated across the floor with such ease, elegance, and grace.  Not only were they mesmerizing to watch, but they were also approachable and deeply encouraging.  They saw something in us we hadn’t yet seen in ourselves. They inspired us to reach for something greater, competition. They didn’t just teach us to dance; they transformed us.  As coaches, John and Penny possess a rare ability to break down technique with clarity and precision. Their patient instruction and creative choreography made even the most complex steps feel attainable.  With each lesson, our confidence grew, and our love for dance deepened. Over the years, they’ve introduced us to nearly 30 different ballroom and Latin styles, unlocking a world of rhythm, movement, and joy.  We are forever grateful to John and Penny-not only for their world-class coaching, but their belief in us, their friendship, and the magic they bring to every step we take on the floor.     
• By David Arenz – My wife Laurett and I decided to check out an early morning event and were surprised to find a 12-piece band and 15 couples ballroom dancing.  John and Penny clearly stood out from the rest.  Laurett and I were captivated as we watched them dance the Foxtrot and the Waltz.  I had to find out about them. My wife, who everyone falls in love with within 90 seconds, broke the ice and we all started a conversation.  Did they change my life? Yes, they opened up my heart.  I’m not a natural dancer. I would agree to go dancing because Laurett loved it.  It was hard for me, and many times I wanted to quit. John and Penny helped me discover why I should dance.  To me, that is life-changing.  The Definos’ dance lessons are so amazing. I’m confident they spend as much time preparing the lesson as they do teaching the lesson.  The ability to receive instructions from John and Penny and then dance the lesson with them is priceless.  
• By Thomas Pound, President USA Dance #6049 – They have given us the confidence to compete, which I would have never considered.
• By Jennifer Brandon, Treasurer USA Dance #6049 – My husband, Thomas Pound, and I met dancing 17 years ago. John and Penny enriched our love of dancing when we finally attended our first class with them.  We started our private lessons about a year ago and shortly after, decided to practice seriously and made plans to attend a competition.  Patiently, they walked us through each step in the process of registration and competition procedures.  We felt ready because of their efforts to prepare us for “The Florida Sunshine Challenge”, held in Tallahassee, Florida. They encourage new dancers at each of our USA lessons and monthly parties.  Penny helps set up our dance parties, and John spends hours picking out great music to dance to. Our chapter #6049 has been enriched by their devoted time and leadership, which has helped to make our chapter one of the best in the state of Florida.
• By Bill and Amy Wymer, Former Treasurer and President Chapter# 6049 – John and Penny helped provide us with a good foundation in ballroom dancing. They helped build our confidence by taking us to various dance events around the area. Dancing brought us much closer as a couple.  We reached a point where we performed several group dance routines. The skills instilled in us and their friendship made it easy for us to join the dance community and local USA Dance Chapters.  We will be forever grateful for all that John and Penny have given us. 
• By Catherine Borgo Lawrence and David Hooker – It’s difficult to overstate their impact not just on our dancing but on our lives. From our first encounter, we were amazed with John and Penny’s warmth, elegance, and professionalism they brought to every lesson.  They knew how to reach both of us: Catherine, the artist; David, the engineer. They appealed to both the emotional expression and the technical precision that ballroom demands.  Most importantly they instilled in us a deep respect for the traditions and cultures of ballroom dancing. John and Penny are more than dance coaches. They are mentors, role models, and ambassadors of ballroom dance.  We are honored to be part of their legacy. We will always be grateful for the gift they gave us: belief in ourselves and the joy of dance.

When Penny and John are not dancing, they are involved with their four grandchildren and their newest family member, Tango.  Their puppy, Tango, is a mix of Bichon and Australian Shepherd. Training Tango in competitive disciplines has included Penny teaching him dance moves!

John and Penny couldn’t change the direction of the wind, but they certainly knew how to adjust their sails to the joy of dance as their constant destination.